BY AMANDA PARRY, RN, CPN, CHPPN

Dear Bereaved Parent, 

I see it in the way you looked when the news left you gasping for air. I feel it in the weight of your body as I catch you falling to your knees from the cruel reality of empty arms. I hear it in your desperate pleas, and breathless cries. It’s carried in the heaviness of your unrestrained tears. 

Grief – it’s a powerful and overwhelming emotion impossible to define. It’s the most painful kind of love, leaving you with a constant ache inside in your heart. I want you to know that you are so much more than this grief you are carrying. When I see you, I see so much more.  

I see the purest, and most beautiful form of unconditional love; one that knows no bounds. It is a love so strong that neither space nor time could ever separate it. You have so bravely created a space to transition from loving your child in their presence to loving them just as deeply in their absence, despite the pain this brings you.  

I see breathtaking faithfulness to hold space for hope, even in the darkest of days. A hope that continues to linger long after the spring flowers arrive. And, I see your incredible strength to embrace the shifts that same hope takes as it no longer looks to defy the inevitable, but rather transcend into the unknown.   

I see patience and grace despite the uncertainty and brutality of disease and death. And profound stoicism, waiting in the unknown – for hours, days, weeks, even months. Yet, you remained steadfast with gratitude for every moment you had together, no matter how exhausted and defeated you felt.   

I see immense kindness and selflessness as you bury your own needs away. You solely acted without expectations, consistently meeting the needs of others while facing the inconceivable. You rose again, every single morning to tread the tightrope of death and wrestle the same demons that left you so weary the night before.   

I see resilience within your eyes as courage rages through your body to face each day anew. When your spirit was broken, your heart was heavy, and your eyes were tired, you tenaciously kept advocating and fighting for your child – their hopes and dreams. And, you fought like hell for their freedom from pain and suffering.   

I see so much pride. And, you should be so proud! Your child is a warrior. And, you know what? They are really proud of you! And, so am I. You are a warrior, too. 

You are so much more than the grief that you carry. It has been my honor and privilege to witness all the beauty and goodness within you.   

I see you,  

Your child’s hospice and palliative care nurse