Pregnancy After Child Loss
Giving away some of Andy’s things and moving back into his room for his little brother.
The mother of two sons, Andy and Zach, talks about the complicated and emotional process of moving Zach into Andy’s old room after his passing in preparation for the birth of her third son. Andy was diagnosed with Neonatal Marfan Syndrome at birth and passed away in October of 2019. She discusses what they chose to donate, what they chose to keep, and how they keep Andy present in their everyday lives.
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The anxiety about having more children. “The way I have coped is just to assume the worst.”
The little sister’s footsteps bring joy … and tears.
IVF: Because the diagnosis is so rare we had to fight for insurance coverage.
His Name: We wanted something involving Quinlan, but we want August to be his own person too.
I'm learning more and more that there's not grief and, it doesn't have to be one over the other.
Loss, Adoption and Twins.
Knowing their brother: We’ll certainly explain everything about Keenan someday.
There were triggers: here we are again in the NICU, day in and day out.
Archived Recording of CPN's In the Room: Pregnancy after Child Loss
When it's a spontaneous mutation: I don't really find any comfort in those odds.
For my second pregnancy, “I just wanted a clean slate. I chose my very local OB-GYN.”
Measuring time: a progressing pregnancy juxtaposed with the first year of grief
‘As long as the new baby is healthy.’ That statement diminishes my son Andy’s life.
“I live everyday with the memories of what happened to my son, and it will never be apart from me.”
It's important to discuss your uncertainty at the prospect of bringing another child into the world.
Death of the only child: We went from being parents to just not being parents.
Pregnancy and bonding after child loss: I feel comforted that I have this little guy in my belly
Talking to the boys about their oldest brother: It's hard for me that there is no overlap
Giving away some of Andy’s things and moving back into his room for his little brother.
Pregnancy after child loss: It is a concern of mine that it’s going to happen again.
Grieving while pregnant: As complicated as the emotions are, we have something to look forward to
We were so caught up in having a new baby, and having this new life at home with the two of them
The hospital where I had my second daughter was the same hospital where Emerson died
“I would go to appointments and I really wanted them to acknowledge that my first daughter had died.”
“Do you want to have more kids?”
The baby, and doing things again, highlights the missing piece.
For others, talking about Emerson's life was now okay because there was a happy ending.